Wednesday, 25 May 2011

A fool in love!!

You know there are certain rules u have in regards to relationships ... Things u will put up with things u will never put up with ... Things u can tolerate and things that are self inflicted ..... 

Well all of the rules above seem like a distant memory to me I'll explain below...

My husband has an ex called j
They seperated a long time ago but remained friends ( apparently?!!)
We been married 3 years and I have always made it known that the way this ex is always reacting to my husband she still desperately has feelings for him 
This was and is a conversation I've had with my husband too many a times but I guess in a friendly manner rather than warning him directly that ur ex still likes u I don't think it's healthy for our relationship that ure still in contact with her

Well the other whilst in his inbox I saw a message from her saying thanks for checking up on me I haven't fashied ur side I just thot u were busy.... 

Let's rewind before I saw this message I and my husband were under the understanding that yes she was not healthy for our marriage so he deleted her off his Facebook account ... So seein that message recently I was like o..... K why is he checkin up on her to see how she is doing this must have been his message to her that's y she replied saying she hasnt fashied him...

Anyways for the sake of avoiding an argument I never mentioned anything as I thot it was harmless he was only checking up on her... So I kept tabs on their messages to each other only to log on to his twitter Acct at 2am and I saw the conversation below 

Hubby; you look stunning in your picture
Ex; fanks sugar muah!!
Hubby; let's do lunch in June 
Ex; sure cool
Hubby; what are your preferences apart from Monica lol
Ex; lobster not usually on twitter this much this is fun
Hubby; me I dont like lobster I rather go for something meaty
Like nandos, etc
Ex; yawning nandos is boring maybe Turkish or wagamama
Hubby; listen if it's lobster you want .. Lobster it is... I will do all I can to make this happen in june.. What's the dress code trad?
Ex; lol at traditional how about costume
Hubby; I can still remember the Chinese we had in bayswater
Ex; hmm my memory is a bit foggy
Hubby; you choose the place and I'll be there... I've tweeted in one night than I've ever done, this is fun
Ex; same here
Hubby; blow me a kiss
Ex; my turn!
Hubby; xxx

And the conversation ended at 2am
Now let's switch the lights to what's happening in my brain... Oh my God I can't believe my eyes my husband is still in contact with his ex despite our agreement to stop contact with her and delete her from facebook... Not only has he deleted her their planning to meet next month and their blowing kisses 

This is when the instrumentals chime in my head """ he's cheating on me"""
I call my girlfriend and she consoles me and all that business and suggests that I ask him when last he was in contact wit the ex and see if he is forthcoming with the truth...

He walks in from work the next morning... I ask oh wen last did u get to speak to ur ex since the last conversation we had about deleting her.... He replies oh it was over a year ago since I deleted her and not heard from her a lot since... I reply so when last did u speak to her he said yesterday ... I'm like ok how did u get to speak to her he then says u know from ur email address someone can chat to u via bbm or whatsapp
I reply erm thats not possible because with bbm u need to have given them ur pin number or on what's app they have ur number thats the only way they can chat with u
He then says yeh it's on what's app
I then said cool
I said to him what's ur twitter username and password 

He then smiles and says so was that y u were asking about my ex cos u have been on my twitter
I said that's not the question 
He refused to give me the details and told me I already know it so theres no point asking him for it

I logged in and asked him please explain to me whats this conversation you're having with ur ex
This is where the title " a fool in love " comes in

He says to me 
Hubby ; I have a problem of which I flirt with girls a lot... And that conversation u see there was me just flirting there was no ounce of intention to follow it thru
Me; so the bit about blowing the kiss and booking lunch nko
Hubby; I and this girl have been friends ever since we broke up and never met once.., and this includes before I started goin out with u...the reason is we always joke about meeting up and we just never do... This conversation is just one of the many we have had flirting an joking

To Cut the story short after speaking to his parents and his parents begging me and him begging me telling me it's not what it looks like I've had to remain in the relationship cos I love him...
I've had to stay cos I dont believe him
I've had to stay cos I'm pregnant with our second baby 
Ive had to stay cos a virtuous woman stays thru the thick and thin and works at her marriage cos giving up will mean the ex wins
Ive had to stay as he is yet to say he loves her more than me.. He promises to go for counselling so he can stop Lying and flirting
I've had to stay cos I'm a fool in love Cos under normal circumstances if someone told me their husband did what he did I know I would tell them ahh me I won't believe him oo I will leave him so he can Go and enjoy lobsters forever with his ex

Well now im in that exact situation and it hurts knowing I can't walk away and it hurts being s fool for love!!