whats the big deal he says?

Many a times I wish I could let go
But I know the consequences of that
My silence means volumes but you are so used to having me around my silence is golden for u
Taken me for granted is the word …but to you its called trying your best

How you can apologise to someone and then say what you did is not that major considering you haven’t been caught cheating..defeats the fact that you apologized in the first place
How you can avoid telling the truth by avoiding a topic and then say u didn’t do it intentionally for 3 months beats my understanding..
How you could be caught messing with your ex by text and say it was only harmless fun..makes me a bigger fool for believing you
How you expect me to just let it go because it was just a text and I didn’t catch u sleeping with her makes me look like a bigger fool
How u could say it was harmless fun and you never planned to meet up with her for lunch…makes me hate myself for ever been faithful to you..

I hate that I cant pay u back for the hurt that you caused me
I hate that I hang around hoping for better days
I hate that u know this about me
I hate that because you know this about me…u take me for granted.
I hate that because u know ill always be around…when I say im hurting …it just another song in your ears..you don’t take it seriously
I hate that I have given my all to you,
Cos partners like you deserve people who care for them but not in totality
I hate that I cant let go..

I hate that u say youre sorry with a teaspoon yet the hurt that you have caused is an ocean full
I hate that just the other day we looked promising…
Yet the same person who sounded so promising is so scornful..
Speaking hateful words to me through the same lips that professed love for me
I hate that with those same lips you say youre sorry with folded arms and you expect things to change..
You spend 30 mins making me feel inadequate and saying scornful things…
Yet you spend ten seconds saying youre sorry
And if you don’t get an open shoulder in 30 mins u go about ur day like u never did anything hurtful..and its up to me to now make amends ..cos in your world you have said sorry and if u haven’t been caught cheating whatever you did cannot be that bad…and if u haven’t killed someone it cant be that bad..

I hate that u are so confident when you lie..
And even when caught lying u would rather stick to the lie so that u can prove a point..
You cannot stand been told u have done something wrong..
Cos whoever is pointing fingers is just trying to prove they are better than u..
How about taking a step back and realize that sometimes sorry doesn’t cut it
Sometimes depending on the amount of hurt you have caused
U might need to say sorry in a different way

And please don’t leave the onus on the other person to forgive u, but put the responsibility on yourself to ensure things get back to where they were, as we all know forgiveness is earned not requested?!!!