Rite na only blogger I fit tell this jist no one else knows this…. but here goes…
Just the other day I had an argument with the hubby this was the most lil argument that certainly went out of hand….
It all started with I cant even remember clearly…but just a normal argument as to wat we doin for the day and banter lead to banter and then next thing he says that’s ow I have been raised to be confrontational…and that pissed me off on a next level…then he says do I know ow many women out there will be happy to have a man that goes to work 7 days a week and provides for the family…rather than sit home and do nothing and my reply to him was ….GO AND FUCKIN MEET THEM THEN!….my peeps at blogger im not one to swear or curse as per xtian but since e don abuse the way I was raised…I just lost my cool…abuse here and then I abuse am back etc…for the first time I stood up to him and abused his family back…im one never to do that because I think in abusing my man im abusing God I respect him that much and he agrees that I have never abused him like that before.
So moving on…we went quiet and we weren’t talking to each other he was sleepin all day woke up at 5pm cos he was workin all nite…this was a Saturday so I was waiting up for him so we can at least go and do some Saturday shoppin etc…he woke up the argument continued and then 10pm he begins to snore on the sofa and then I lost my cool like shebi u just woke up at 5pm now 10pm ure sleepin again with no attempt to end the argument,..,.he got angry and said what do I want him to do…I said lets at least try and resolve this before u go to bed… im tired of carryin on like this etc,,,
Next thing his hands are on my neck and his choking me on the floor., my voice all muffled I say to him is this wat I deserve for tryin to end an argument …he carries on choking me..after a while he lets go off me …and all hell breaks loose I abuse his mum and father etc…and he just sat there abusing me back…I need a break
I must state we have never had an argument like this before never had domestic violence etc…im not making excuses for him but since then…it has felt like all I hold dear and love has crashed…..don’t have a dad …mums not available….the only thin I can call my own…..has now become a bitter experience…
How do I move on from this …I cant even look him in the face anymore…cos wen I do all I see is the angry face that was choking me….he has apologised umpteen times etc but I just cant get away from it ….he says loves me ….i cant even bring myself to say I love him anymore..doesn’t make sense to me that love can be domestic violence.
Through my actions of tryin to find the love left in me…I do not want to push him away. U know wen a woman goes quiet cos shes hurtin so bad…if it lingers too long the guy will get tired of beggin and if ure not avail to him as a wife there are many hyena’s out there waitin to take ur space and listen to him…
So my people this is what im goin thru I know its ok to feel the way I do, but I cant feel the way I do for too long or else my marriage will crash…but he cant expect too much from me cos im sure im allowed to hurt…but u must agree im not allowed to hurt for too long…im expected to heal for the sake of my baby, my marriage and because I want this to work ……;(
ur girl barefeet!
4 comments:
Oh wow! I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I wish i could tell you what to do but i really can't. Domestic violence is not a good sign. You need to get a good support system together. Did you tell anyone, grandmom or auntie? You shouldn't hide this, and i hope this never happens again.
Omdzzz....you must have been really shaken. Sometimes, we can provoke men to such a state...I have been dating boyfie for 7 years now n yesterday was d first time he shoved me, but i begged for it cos i kept shouting in his face, n knowing he was going thru a hard time with school n stuff, he lost it. But i knew it was mostly my fault cos my mouth was too sharp. We can push men to do things they would normally not do. Next time just try n calm down, and u people should resolve arguments with words instead. Dont abuse his parents oh. :) I hope you work it out. And with time u can tell him I love u again
Ladies! There is never ever a situation where domestic violence is ok!! Never! You need to tell someone like a respected relative or else it will happen again and again! After he does it the first time and the initial shock wears off, the second time is a little less forbidden. Don't die in secret, a marriage is supported by friends and family.
OMG i CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BOTH ARE MAKING EXCUSES FOR BEING PHYSICALLY ABUSED.
What was wrong with him shouting back at you or simply leaving. So what do you do now censor your thoughts because you have to walk on eggshells? What happens next times you lose your temper? Will he choke you till you pass out?
I'm not saying leave him, I'm just saying tell someone and talk to him seriously about it. Some mistakes should not be made twice
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