Tuesday 17 August 2010

17-08-1966

This is to a woman I never got a chance to know u
Its amazing that I know so much about you from what people have said
But somehow deep in my heart I feel they are all wrong
U had me at a tender age somehow ive followed in ur foot steps and had my baby early
My dad never got to speak about u, but he was a lawyer before he passed on this year
And I ended up studying law without even knowing I was following in his foot steps

Where do all these things lead me to ….it makes me believe u were just like me
Out to please noone but God
U probably worked as hard as I did, and played and laffed real hard …
Ur life was short, pray mine is longer
U had huge ears like I do, and full lips like I do,,,

Mum the only memory I have of u is when I was taken to the cemetery and I was asked to leave flowers, I never had a clue what I was doing then as noone told me u were my mum then, but hey they cant beat my memory and the genes that made me shiver on that sunny day in naija…I just knew I had a connection to the person I was paying my respects to….later on I found out u were the one, and im sad cos I cant remember the address of the cemetery, I just know its in CMS lagos. Was too young to remember but with every step ive taken I always wish I was confident u were with me,, hubby tells me youre smiling down at me, I wish I can believe him , cos I believed my dad wanted to be part of my life so badly until he proved me wrong, so unfortunately I cant vouch for u that u wanted me to be a part of ur life as well. But like they say a mothers love is different, I always felt my dad was a distance away but somehow I can say I don’t feel the same about u…theres some surety and certainty that ure even closer

I utter a plea, and prayer tonite, I pray to God I find you in heaven and we can have a family reunion maybe with dad but im not sure if im really bothered if he’s in heaven and theres me thinking I have forgiven him…I say I have but my previous statement tells me otherwise…oh well,,, I pray before I die that I get to know u better don’t know how but I cant trust the uncertainty on the other side that we might be in the same place, or where we might end up…

One thing I must say tho thanks for bringin me to this world ive not appreciated my life in many ways,,,as ive always thot death was safer and that way no one is commiting sins and gambling to get to heaven …with death its certain where one is goin..its not about ow u live ur life etc…but hey lost too many peeps in my life that has changed my view of life, eat hard pray hard laff hard and love hard..

Mum I love u..even if I never knew u
Miss u badly that I still cry myself to sleep but then I think if u were alive u wont have let me get married that early ,.cos of ur experience u wuda thot its bad for me, but thank God im doing fine..

Wish I got to know u….and cant wait to see u, all my love

Ur baby girl oluwatee(that the closest yall are goin to know about my tru name lol)
Olayide – born 17/08/1966 died – not sure dem no gree tell me ;(

3 comments:

Sugarking said...

Awww, very thoughtful post babes. Just keep being strong, you should be fine.

P.s. Now searching facebook for "Oluwatee" for a full lipped, big eared chic.

leggy said...

why wont they tell you when she died?

doll (retired blogger) said...

yea? why wont they tell you?