Feeling very lonely lately although I have company
I feel like im walking alone in this journey of love
Although its meant to be a partnership
I feel I have an idea of love that the other partner doesn’t share
And surely when u both see and define love differently
One might seem complacent whilst the other is tryin to adjust
So what u have is one is ok to sit at the bottom of the mountain
Whilst the other tryin to pull the one sittin up the mountain
I feel I should be thankful yet I cant be thankful for something I cant feel
I can only believe it exists, but cant feel it
I believe he loves me…
But I cant see it…
He’s struggling to show it…
Its almost like teachin him to show it…
And when he shows it ..it is because I gave him an idea and hes gone to do it
The question then lies…if he didn’t love me he wont take up the idea…or is he so bored with the relationship that he at a cross road.
Hes my partner yet I feel so bored cos hes never around, the relationship is based around texts, emails, and 3 min calls.
3 min calls as If I were talking to a friend and not a lover.
Almost formal and usual
# how was work
# how u feelin
# ows the baby etc
cant speak to him about it cos he will see it as a criticism that im not satisfied bla bla bla
he’ll say ive always said I cant never please u barefeet, and this convo just goes to prove it.
I have gone as far as asking why are u stil with me,…its almost like ure trudging along with the relationship rather than having fun with it…he says he loves me that’s y he is still here…he says he’s still crazy about me etc..,.
But he just doesn’t show it…either because hes too busy at work to show it…or because he doesn’t know ow to express himself anymore..believe me he used to..as in this guy cried once and told me ow much he loved me deeply now we are at a point that theres no mushy mushy in the relationship. Its all strait talk or crudeness as in crude jokes etc..but im tired of tryin to read btw the lines of that crudeness to know he cares,,.,,,
5 comments:
After reading ur previous post, i can understand this better. Just hang in there. I wish i could offer some more concrete, practical advise. Pls, if you ever need someone to talk to you can always email me at nigerianscorpio@gmail.com
hmm... read ur previous post.. and yeah. it makes things clearer..do you have some senior figure you both respect? asking cos this is a time to talk to them.. "report him", knowing he'll be called to order. as you seem to be doing this alone..
still pray and ask God to touch his heart..and ask for strength too.
Hey girl, this would be taking the long route... but I feel it would help you with relationship stuff in the future as well... because it really helped me see a lot of things I was oblivious to. Try reading Gary Chapman's 'Languages of Love'. The book is excellent for married people. It seems to me you are both speaking and expressing your love in different ways... and most important of all, commit your relationship to God's hands... marriage is from God, and he knows best how to work it out to HIs perfection. Hang in there, Jesus loves you :) :) :)
Hey babes, I just finished reading the last post and now this. It is serious when he has laid his hands on you to the extent of choking you while you're pregnant. I suggest you both go for counselling. I think he does not realise it and maybe you don't know it too but when a woman is expecting, her hormones scatter her emotions all over the place and that can explain your cursing and abuses. So you both need to go talk to some professionals to learn how to handle all this issues and new feeelings. Please DO NOT brush this under the carpet. PLEASE...
May God give you the strenght to see you through this.... When I started reading your previous post, I thought 'why stay with a man who would choke you?' But then again, I realised marriage and love are far beyond my comprehension or understanding... Wish I could offer some advice- at least then I would be of some good-I am from a broken home myself, and the experience is not fun at all.... Please, Please, for the sake of your baby, be quick to forgive....
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