I SPEAK NIGERIAN!

''Do u speak Nigerian?'' is a question I got asked a whole lot while I was at Uni in the Uk. Along
with ''Do you live in a hut?'', and ''Why is your street called 'Sawyerr Crescent? Is yr father a king?''

And for the umpteenth time I would patiently, if somewhat exasperatedly explain that ''Nigerian'' is not a language.

Except, I realised, it is...

We have a unique, unmistakable, altogether ''Nigerian'' way of expressing ourselves.

We have all been told to ''Off the light'', and ''ExpaNtiate'' on what we mean. We say ''I'm coming'' when we're going, and we're ''vexing'' when we're angry.

We make ''sachet'' sound like ''hatchet'', and some of us see with our ''heyes'', and live in a
'' 'ouse...'' Some ladies wear ''bogus'' earrings, and this is the only country where ''flashing'' is legal...
I love the music of conversations interspersed with ''jo'', ''jare'', ''fashy'' and ''abeg, abeg...''
The sounds that are not words, but are as loaded with meaning as a sub-machine gun...
''mscheeeew''
''hmm!''
''ehen?''
''ewoooo!''
''haaaaaaaa!''

I love that our conversations are as animated and dramatic as the scripts of our ''home video'' movies.

I love that four Nigerians in a foreign country can have a friendly conversation that sounds to others like we are minutes away from kicking each other in the teeth....

And I love how even when we are speaking English to each other, nobody understands what we're saying....
Theres nothing more comforting than sharing the bonds of familiar expression when you are all strangers in a strange land...

So next time I'm asked,

''Do you speak Nigerian?''

I will smile broadly, and answer proudly,

''Actually, yes I do :-)''

Its ur girl barefeet!