AFIN

See me see wonders ooo as my naija peeps wud say or rather see me see afin! Meaning an albino...ok here goes

I went to school at festac..not goin to name d school for anonymous reasons. And there was this afin guy we always made fun of. As usual whilst he walks past u'd shout AFIN!...u can call it bullyin or wateva u like but the point is if u were an albino in nigeria damn ud be hit with the teasing and ull have to deal with it..ill like to think an afin is the same as someone called ginger..in d western world because of the way they look.

So as i browsed on my facebook page there he was Emeka in a nicely cut black suit taped with satin on the edges, a dark green shirt with high rise collars and a thin black tie to match and he looked ginger!..about an acceptable ginger complexion. All this na grammar he was lookin tite....and im like is this afin...see me see afin...and then i thot to myself if i saw him now and he asked me out i wuda said yes...not cos i like him but now all of a sudden this afin is acceptable as a bf...interesting...all im sayin is its either of two things the western world has made me feel ginger or afin is acceptable and im sure if i was still in naija it will be uunacceptable!

UDDER

The broadness of ur shoulders causes me to shudder

The udders on ur bust is the very buzz when I sleep

The sound of ur voice seemingly soothes me no matter

The problem I call you for

 

Absolute fortress is my king

Augustine the one I can lean

The fact I know I can always count on u,

Is more than I could ever mention

He is well rounded that's my man

That strides along with such vigour

 

The rhythm of his thoughts

Though vivacious it is infectious

He makes me laugh, he makes me cry

All in all I know it all balls down

To the way he loves me so

The way he caresses me distresses me

 

My words fail me but this I can finally call my own

My brother, my friend, my lover,

My husband the crown on my head

Y FRONT!

OK..ill need a mans opinion on this and i guess the women can offer their distaste or love for the y front man!


it goes like this a boy starts out wearing pants cos thats all his parents offer him...but wen he has a chance to choose he starts wearing boxers. and this was back in my days,,,but now its public shorts cos its worn for the passer- by to see,,,saggin in other words!...but then theres loose boxers and theres hip hugging boxers. and apparently speedos as i heard someone shout across the office...


but anyways.. ill leave the speedos out of the question cos that is such a turn off!....so y fronts..they end up with the crowd syndrome and wear boxers cos it sets them free down there and as my cousin would say lets some air in cos they do get hot easily..lol..then after about sixty they strap on the y fronts to keep it all together again...my question...
 is it sagging that bad ...
is it comfort?....
does it have to be white or grey?


im not talkin about every guy..but theres been a few old men ive seen and ohh they do have an attachment to the y front.


Ps it is a total turn off for me oo i dont know about other women ..but it looks so ish...we'd like to wonder wats beneath rather than have it shoved in our faces with a y front...btw wen i first saw my husband naked he was in them ..lol i'd like to think ive cleared those skeletons in the pantie drawer...but y do i feel like the passage of time and old age might just unleash the almighty Y FRONT!

JUXTAPOSITION!

I feel a rhythm in my heart

That wasn't there last night as I wrote fluid,

It's almost like the rustling and bustling of waves

Deep within my soul that cannot be measured

Cannot be quantified, cannot be qualified by words

Neither can it be quantitative, as it cannot be calculated

Unequivocal is the volume the rhythm speaks

From within, my heart beats

Almost in anticipation of the squeak in the distance

An adjective, an adverb, an adjunction...

It feels like it's ascending....

Brimming as if clambering....

Never knew he was listening!

FLUID

Lord can I trust u in moments where I feel alone Can I truly believe ure right here even tho I tell myself this in my praise and worship How do I know ure ever with me wen I feel so alone I feel like ive known u all my life Spoke about u all my life Yet at moments like this I feel like I lost u along the way How can I speak about u with so much confidence to unbelievers Yet the same confidence fails me at times like these Cos I feel u not My heart tells me ure here Ill like to say my flesh bites back and the bare reality that im alone hits me even harder. Like it says in ur word wats the purpose of life vanity upon vanity We only build and gather only to leave it for someone else to take it all over The question is that which u cherished... wen left behind wud it be cherished by the person u left it to… I knw I owe my being to u,,,yet every fibre of my being feels disgruntled How can I speak of peace being still when I need an awakening by u… How can I speak of u being here with me wen I need u to move me from where I am to where u want me to be …surely what u have for me is better than where I am … Like a friend of mine said show me the things u have in store for me I just might be more responsive more grateful …I might be placid I cant promise anythin lord am mere human but one thing I do ask for is a lift… A lift of the burden A lift of the fluid that fills my eyes A lift of the fluidity of my smiles A lift of the fluidity of my thots The permanence of your fluid that it may fill my cup and overflow … Your child oluwatee

CHICKEN IS MEAT!!

Rite I need to address a few issues in the post but ill let u into the story first so u can judge for yourself before I influence you with my opinions..

I had dinner round about 8pm and found that at 11pm I was hungry again afraid of the night and all I thot ill dash to the high street to get some Chinese.

As I trotted along I found myself in soliloquy upon entering the shop I noticed the assistant coughing vehemently, which I had to consciously ignore as I placed the order for my food. The conversation began;

Barefeet; erm have u got any spring rolls with meat in it?

Coughing assistant; YES! We do…we got chicken with vegetables in it!

Barefeet; o……k? so do u have any with meat in i…t?

Coughing assistant;  YES! I said We do…we got chicken with vegetables in it!

Barefeet; so u haven't got anything with meat apart from chicken

Coughing assistant; YES CHICKEN IS MEAT!

At this point I was beginning to loose my sense of reasoning at the fact that the word meat can be transcribed into a bird, which is chicken. I did have to budge and ordered spring roll with meat I beg ur pardon with chicken in it..

First thing I don't see ow a bird or poultry could be thot of as meat. Especially wen it flies in the air and its not beef. For the sake of clarity surely wen I say meat ud think beef automatically…if u want to place chicken in the category of meat then u might as well say fish is meat as well!…

Which then leads me to my second point I could clearly see the lady was or is very educated as in degree level and all ..For her telling me its meat was like trying to prove she can speak English unlike her fellow Chinese takeaway colleagues who hardly spoke a word of English apart from the words written on the menu in front of them.

So in other words she was tryin to prove that shes got some status of some sort which I wasn't questioning. This also applies to Asians..sorry to say I believe they don't give a toss about customer service let alone the fact that they think the black race is inferior. 2 things

If u need to buy something from the off licence store or corner shop you go in they expect that u shud not ask any questions the minute u do there's problems! They begin with the attitude and they actually say to me If u don't want to buy leave it…ive had too many of these scenarios which is very sad cos If it were an asian standing in front of them they'll gladly ask about their family and chat away if u come in and beckon at them to get served they often ignore u and carry on like I don't need u to buy anything from my shop.

And the other thing that gets to me is wen u need to hand money to them they'd rather have u place the money on the table and if ur hand is still outstretched to hand them the money they drop their hand so low to avoid body contact. Its like common our skins are both black ooo…its not like ure exactly different or white which is supposedly the opposite of black.  theyre like in the middle..Apparently it's a traditional thing about black touching them meaning bad luck and all that jazz

And then lastly the black race itself I speak for Nigerians and how they form levels.or wud I call it effizy I guess that word has been replaced by swagger!

Y is it that wen we come amongst ourselves we need to prove we been to jand or yankee…I guess it's the same status quo that I mentioned with other nationalities that's occurring here. Tryin to prove levels etc…y cant we all just be ourselves whether bush or polished …and be nice to the other person regardless of education or where ure comin from. u'd imagine education will be a positive thing but wen people use as it as a pedestal to make themselves feel higher than their neighbour I think it totally unnecessary.

To be continued (wats it with girls and thanksgiving Sunday?!)

Can i pray to u?!

Can i pray to u about my husband
Can i pray to u about our arguments
Can i pray to u about everythin
Those that i feel happy to share yet keep those i believe arent worth ur listenin time..

Can i pray to u about my heartbreak
Can i pray to u about my temptations
Can i pray to u wen i dnt want to pray
Can i pray to u about the void that my father left willfully
That i Endlessly need my husband to fill
Can i pray to u about the void that my mother left regretably
That i cant seem to trust any1 to fill
Can i pray to u to teach me ow to make love to my husband
Can i pray to u to show me ow to love especially wen i hv no role models..
Can i pray to return to me that relationship i had with u..before i fell and lost my virginity..
Can i pray to u and ull listen to me like a virgin that i was
Or wud u listen to me as eve who has eaten the forbidden fruit
Can i pray to u about these things and y do i feel like theyre too personal to share with u undeservedly....
Can i pray to u?

PENNY GIRL; WOMEN WUD GO FOR ANYTHING

The question thats posed is y are women getting desperate ….the conversation started with most women actually saying any man would do as long as I can be called mrs…? Or at least I know I have a person called my husband…asked a few girls at the office and they believe the desperation comes with age…for those up to the age of 30 theyre making choices after that women know wat they want and wud still go for substitutes…







Penny girl 1






She met a guy was all rosy along the line things became violent…iron across the room chair across the room …next thing 3 years down the line baby across the belly…and then based on the demands of the parents and xtianity she needs to get married..whilst in the shower she comes to me and asks ..






PG1; barefeet do u think im doin the right thing marrying this guy especially with all the madness and tantrums he throws….






Barefeet; erm do u see urself with him in 40 years and I mean happy not just some old nagging witch that curses the day u met him…( Lets remind ourselves PG1 is about 32 yrs old)






PG1; no I don’t cos hes cheating on me now …especially with his ex wife..and his kid he does not make me priority and etc






Barefeet; well uve just answered ur qs






So my question is despite all of these complications and the eminent omen that lay ahead she was goin to push it aside …and still get married 3 months later whilst fightin at London heathrow…






PG1; DV IM NOT GIVING U MY FONE…GO AND BUY UR OWN CREDIT..HE WILL USE ALL MY MINS AND WEN I NEED A TOP UP HE’D TELL ME HE’S BROKE






DV; IM WARNING U OO PG1…U CANT BE EMBARRASING ME OUTSIDE IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS…THIS IS OW SHE WIL BE DOIN AND TELLIN EVERYONE STORIES..ANYWAY 1 NEED £20 TO PAY FOR MY EXCESS LUGGAGE






PG1 ; U MUST BE MAD ME GIVE U £20…DV I DON’T HAVE ANYTHIN TO GIVE U….






Lets cast our minds back this was literally a week before the wedding and they got to Nigeria and never spoke until the day before he went to his parents in abia she went to her parents in festac…only to come together on the day spend thousands of naira and make vows…






My people is it BY FORCE! This brings me to the fact that lots of women are getting desperate cos if u knew and think u have a choice surely u’d make the choice to get out whilst u can…or don’t get married at all…somein else was raised about thinking u can change the man…well im not even goin to acknowledge that…






And lastly another thing was raised about the new generation Penny Girl….as the song by 50 CENT goes “have a baby by me and be a millionaire” they are after the money…so will literally go for anything as long as their future is sorted ,,,anything meaning even sugar daddy….rite its been a while since I visited naija but apparently this new crase has actually caught on to secondary school girls. And guys with Jeeps..lol….and even guys are sayin if u no get cash she no go marry u ….










My theory…I personally believe if a girl has self worth and substance …she will not go for anything…she will have her standards and will not be willing to budge…for myself I was a virgin and waited till I found the rite man then got marries etc…my question is imagine keeping myself thru all that temptation left right and centre…making my choices thru life…and then id settle for less by marryin someone just for sake of the title? Or the cash? Or because im getting dirt on my plate but I plan to clean up the dirt…I don’t think so…I will be marrying cos I think hes worthy of sharing my future and on the flipside I also think hes that good enuff to mess up my future…even if I don’t like it…love isn’t a win and win game…

MARRIAGE IS SOO OVERRATED!

I even laugh at the sound of the title itself..i guess ill have to leap way forward to my present thots and return to my childhood stories later on. rite we move on i wanted to write about this the moment i felt it in my emotions but could never get round to it...so here we go








dont u just hate it wen u see new lovers all cuddled up kissing at every opportunity and all holding hands and u just know it aint gonna last long...this is my philosophy,...it all dies down in time...not necessarily the love but the need to show u constantly care does die down..






it all starts out with the guy actually calculating and planning the first kiss with you i guess i can say the same for the girl...lol.. he then goes further planning the first date where to take u to ...the way he'll talk probably how much info he's willing to give away...and probably the speech on how to ask u out ...im sure u get the jist..






then he has u ...i dont mean physically (smirks) but i mean as his girl ...then it all goes relaxed..he then has to fit u into his schedule and then probably puts the question forward about marriage...u say yes and it goes down cos now hes mega relaxed...there are two viewpoints that come to play here


1. how the woman sees marriage?






it is said that we all let go of ourselves after a while...but ive come from somewhere that i was never appreciated ...so my little thing in life is always about putting my best in and being remembered as someone who always wanted to go the step






Further..my thing has always been to make a diff and not be like other women who take their husbands for granted after a while and probably stop dressing up all sexy and just letting go of the preps u’d usually go through cos he was comin round to ur place. So for me or wud I say most women it comes to us or we imagine marriage as a safe haven which means we can finally be ourselves with the man in question ….and we can be reassured that hes someone I can count on rather than a boyfriend whos sometimes unavail..now u know hes expected to make himself available to you cos ure married..






We move forward cos hes done a lot of planning before marriage and then he doesn’t have a clue wat to do with u…wat im just tryin to say is wen women get married theres a plan in place as to wat the future holds and wat she plans to do with the man…in regards to how love him pamper him …but with the man I guess they have a vague idea as wat they plan to do BUT they don’t know how exactly they want to do it …






So wat u find is u have a lot of expectation cos u have a picture in ur head and they have expectations but are so relaxed about it cos the picture in their head doesn’t necessarily fall apart if no action is taken. It just means getting to the goal might take a lot longer than anticipated…with the woman she has to get to the goal cos her livelihood and happiness is surrounded by the achievement of the picture in her head,,,






This in other words translates to the man being relaxed cos his livelihood depends on the labour and rewards he brings back home which then means sometimes u get the side seat …this is central to his happiness and for the woman it translates to her working hours on end wanting to spend time with the man and please him but his evidently unavail beit emotionally physically etc…






I think this theory is exactly wat has lead to my belief that marriage is soo overrated cos it doesn’t solve ur problems of security and emotional needs but makes u long and hunger more for ur husband …and on the mans part its overrated cos he kinda imagined ud just tag along till wen hes ready to come to terms with the fact that ure there and two ud hopefully stop nagging whilst he figures out wat picture he wants to put together for u ….






On the other hand that’s wat I felt 3 days ago …well now im thinking religious don’t focus on him and nag at him…this is my new theory wen they get all that attention from ur nagging they feel pressured and feel like ure waiting for them to act….rite leave them to it no nagging find an inner peace within and wat ull find Is he becomes paranoid that ure not saying anything…so tries to find aomethin to do or please u b4 u talk…on the other hand some coconut headed men..wud still not budge these are the ones u need to just let be…like they say let the sleeping dogs lie…let be and let God …only and I say only a supernatural being can fix that planet MARS


SO its not really overrated it is wat it is...that is u make it into wat u want it to be..