feedback..to be\not 2 be

Many thanks for all d comments on my previous post...to be or not to be..the majority advised that i call...so heres d feedback

I had a txt that i drafted before i put up my post..so heres d text

Barefeet; hi im not sure if you know me..my father gave me ur number a whie back..just thot id say hi...tk care barefeet

I wanted to make sure d number worked so i called from my work fone...she picked up sayin hello...and i dropped...
I didnt want to call her...as the manner in which she replies if i say...its barefeet might make me hate my decision for life...so i thot id send d text first to get her prepared...so i sent her d text..thinking she'll text bk then she called me immediately...i cant do suspense like Myne..

I was pondering do i pick up d call and what d hell do i say ...i was hpin she'll text that'll make it easier...

Girl on d fone; helloo
Barefeet; hi
Girl on d fone; thats barefeet rite
Barefeet,; yeh ure bleep bleep
Girl on d fone; ow u doin
Barefeet,; im ok and u...
girl on d fone; im fine thanks its ur dads sister...where abouts do u stay
Barefeet; erm ealing broadway..its on d central line
Girl on d fone; hmm ok im at catford..but im on my way to nigeria at d moment
Barefeet; so ure my dads sis..
Girl on d fone; yes i am...from his mothers side
barefeet; erm have i met u before like in nigeria cos i cnt remember much
Girl on d fone; no i dont think so
Barefeet; cos ive met a girl thats dark skinned and another one was light skinned
Girl; chuckles...theres loads of us..from d mother and father side...anyway no prob on my way to d airport sha...hp ure ok tho
Barefeet; yeh
Girl on d fne; no prob good that u calld id save ur number and when i get bk frm naija we can hook up
Barefeet; no prob

And we exchanged our goodbyes.
My people that was it...so many things goin thru my head....
1. theres lots of them from the mother and father side....so is that y he never gave a toss about me...and took after his parents children evrywhere that he cudnt keep track of them...annoyingly i can only assume hes not here to tell me otherwise...
2.good u called...was she aware of d last convo i had with my dad sayin i dont want to know her now..i just want to know my dad then her later..
Yes im ur dads sister...i thot he sent me a text sayin...do u know u have a sis in london...so thats meant to be...do i know he has a sister in london...theres me thinking i have siblings....but there his siblings not mine...so that was kinds dissapointing...but all in all good she wants to hook up ...not sure wen she is back...i guess she was asking if im ok..as per my dads death...the if's and buts go on....until she calls to say she has returned d qs continue...if only he had answered d qs before he died....

Its ur girl barefeet!

10 things i love

This goes out to megababe extra thanks for the tag

Ok everybody dey blogsville dey write holy holy...as per ten things they love....well barefeet is gonna tell it ow it is...

1..for some reason lately im crazed about sex...yeh i said it....people i started out as a virgin...my husband has fed me the forbidden fruit and now saying im drunk with sex is an understatemnt...as in my husband now avoids been naked around me etc...in other words...now i know y girls or guys start and cant stop...blady hel...the tin sweet...just cant get enuf...and i guess wateva is being given is dammmmmnnn gud...or else i wont be here writin this...I know uu want to hear more mschew...Moving on

2. I love money....ideas pop into my head like once or twice a day...as to how i can make money...and begin to drive my range...

3. I love to question everythin...im not gonna let anything go past my nose without snifffin

4, this list is gettin boring erm...i love watching porn...as it gives me ideas as to how i go wound my husband....still tryin to curb this habit tho...

5. I love to analyse peeps as in...y da hell has he got that haircut...damn girl u look like u got the weight of d world on ur shoulders...damn i need to wear sunglasses too many fine brovas walking around...im not allowed to look...that kind of analyse...

6.i love to write...as in i look forward to writin on my train journeys to uni...and anytime i can

7. I like feelin extra comfy...not one of those girls that wear clothes that look like its been drawn on them....i even go the extent of wearing my hubbys boxers wen i need some air down there...sebi u want to know wat i love lol

8. Wen hubby goes to work i love to wear his clothes ,..his perfume...the fact that the size dont fit...just gives me a cozy feeling as if he's with me wrapped all around me etc...p.s he works nigts 4 days a week...i love wearing his shoes whilst doin d housework..altho he has told me wat ones i can wear lol...u shud see his face wen he tries to tell me in a sweet yet irritated manner... He says barefeet pls not my new trainers...can u wear the one i use for the gym...lol

9. I love God....all my life ive done everythin because it will please him...if it aint pleasing him ...i dont mind bein the sore thumb amongst my friends...id rather be on Gods side than everyone else's...so terribly love him it shivers me timbers...as in i even pray that the holy spirit teaches me ow to please my hubby in bed...thats ow much i love God as in my hommie...funny enuff he surely works in mysterious ways if u know wat i mean...wink

10. I love my hubby...my wonderful baby lil baba..my bestfriend kenechi!...my mum r.i.p....blogsville u guys give me jokes everytime i log in...and thats me..

aint tagging no one as im on mi fone...

to be or not to be?

im about to embark on a journey and i dont know y i shud do it...or maybe i shud let the sleepin dogs lie...so ill need everyones opinion on this...im not asking my friends or any member of my fam as their responses might be bias....so here goes

a while back i must have written about my dad....ill give u a summary

When my mum became pregnant with me....as per yoruba culture they went forward to my dads family to say ...apparently ur son got our daughter pregnant wat u goin to do about it...he refused that he didnt get my mum pregnant and my mums family left in shame....after a few months my dad comes with his family members to see my mum etc...and pay their respects as per she had given birth...so the question was asked y did u deny the pregnancy in the first place....he said his mum told him to etc...sha my mums side of the family....got angry with the excuses and asked him to leave...he never returned till i was about 7yrs of age....in this passage of time my mum dies due to complications after my birth...so he visits to give me sme food stuff...garri beans rice....and fingers chocolate to be precise....my mums family accepted it but he wasnt welcome still especially with the death of tiheir daughter...moving on he then returns 3 years later when i ws about 10...but stayed 5mins i told him my b.day ws comin up and he promised he wud come over but he nevr did or called etc...since then i never saw him...so it was a total of 3 times i saw him...then i was about 14...told a few lies and went to look for him...and he was never available...the one time i saw him...he just gave me loads of cash and i mean like £2000 back in 1997 and asked me if school was goin ok...didnt ask much about my personality and gettin to know me...he was too busy....moving on...

Sha i came to london and never visited or told him i was leaving cos he wsnt pulling his weight to see me....he was always busy and always had an excuse y..i got to london and with anger i let him remain in the past....moving on to last yr...my husband needed to know who my dad was..so i begged him that i dont want to open that chapter of my life....cos i dont think my dad wud do anything different to wat he did in d past....he wud not rejoice that im back in his life...my husband wanted to prove me wrong and went in search of my dad...i dont have his address or details...got his number thru some1 etc...and when we called his was more angry at the fact that no one told him wen we got married ...anywhoo im like he must really think himself as important cos hes not treated me like that all my life...so why shud i make him important....we went past that and started talkin maybe 1nce a month...but he never spoke much or gave me much to work with...he wud ask me ow u doin my baby my husband,..hp im ok...and then bye....my people that was the sequence of things for a whole year no further qs asked....he suffered a stroke and was recovering...then he sent me a txt at 6am...saying ..do u know u have a sister over there in london her name is bleep bleep and this is her number....then at 11am he calls with the such emotional joy than i have ever heard him express not even the first time he saw me...then he said...

Dad; hello barefeet did u get my message that i sent u this mornin..
Barefeet; yes i did...but im surprised at d reason u sent me tht txt
Dad; y wats the problem
Barefeet; its amazing that i dont know anythin about u...and now u want me to know my sis...i wuda thot we establish our relationship first then u introduce me to the other members of the family...for example u dont know wat day i ws born my birthday...u dont have a clue as to my personality i dont know anythin about u or the day u were born all i know is ur my father and im ur daughter....how about gettin to know each other then everyone else...
dad; ok no problem
Barefeet; is dat it....ure not goin to say anything else...
dad; its not somethin we can talk about on the fone...we wud need to see physically to talk about it (not sure if i mentioned he ws in nigeria and im in the uk)

Barefeet; rite ok no problem

I cudnt be asked to indulge him in more as he wanted to wait till we see to do these things and my qs is how long is it before i see him like,...who has promised us tomor....and then d next day he sent a txt saying...

Dad; my text to u yesterday ws with constructive intentions not destructive if i have touched any raw nerves...my apologies are hereby tendered!

Saw this and i replied

Barefeet; not a problem u havent touched any raw nerves...i just need to know u...and build a relationship with u first then i can then be introduced to the other members of the family...

this was last yr april....since then i didnt hear from him he never called me like he used to ....not a word from him...my brithday was in june...and i was hopin in my heart of hearts he might have enquired from wherever to find out and surprise me with a call....nothin ...he never calld...then this yr jan i got a call and i was told hes dead....how i felt is a different story,...for another day....im done grieving but lately i find myself goin back to tht text askin me to call my estranged sister....ill let u guys know....ive searched for her on fb and asked for her friendship considering my surname has changed she will not know who i am ,...so might not accept my request...even if she did accept my request that doesnt mean she knows who i am....so moving on...ive been starin at that msg and now ive moved from that and saved the number to my phonebook...people seriously that was a major for me....now the qs is do i call her text her...get in touch with her...wat am i to say,....do i need to open this door in my life ...as wat i might find might not be good....

In the sense that wen i opened d door to my dad....and wen i went searchin for him at d age of 14....he was everythin everyone told me he was....non chalant and took everythin in his stride...didnt push to get anythin done ...as a matter of urgency...so that left me with a sour taste in my mouth then my husband came along and my dad did no different....do i call her or do i just let that part of my life end with his death...is it worth it or not...is it to be or not to be...peeps i need ur advice...frank advice...

Ur girl barefeet!

Moh-hawk-frican

Amazing ow wen an old man speaks to u extra nice on the train it seems perverted....its almost like hes lost his pullin power on women so he works twice as hard...lol

Man on train....are u from africa...yes...wat part of africa...nigeria....ahhh thats good ...u look like my ghanian daughter, he pauses ok im going now bye bye...im like....ooooooo...k thanks bye...
Does he really think i wuda struck a convo with him on that basis...anywhooo movin on

My african brothers heres a lesson or two for ya....regardin the mo hawk hair cut.....david beckham made it popular and it suited him...y cos hes white and he got straight hair....

Lesson number 1...please dont bother with a mo hawk if u aint got nice straight hair or at least wavy hair ask ur barber he'll give u d hair wax that men use to get some curls in naija its called sportin waves...u know like the way somalian guys have their hair it comes to them naturally...so lesson to be learnt pls avoid the mo hawk if u aint got nice hair...we dont want to see ta koko hair in a mo hawk its a disaster...ta koko means nigerian hair or african hair thats terribly not straight and it curls around itself no matter how u comb it...wen u look at d whole head it looks like little dots of hair on the head and lots of space inbtw...def not a smooth mane...this kind of hair is a taboo for a mo hawk ....

Lesson 2 pls avoid a mo hawk altogether my african brothers if u use ur girlfriends relaxer it will look wrong i guarantee u...the hair will become spikey and ull look like a wet chicken....like i said ask ur barber for mens curling wax...it defines ur curls rather than flattens ur hair like an ironed shirt...

Lesson 3...my african brothers avoid a mohawk(pulling my ears like ud see in the nigerian movies) its bad enuf that ure not white pls dont put no estranged colour in it....blonde...red...etc...ur black it does not suit black guys...except ur sisqo ...

And lastly pls dis appiles to both sexes abeg una these geeky glasses in vogue does not suit everyone..c'mon..it takes a certain swag to pull it off...the fact that chris brown is rocking it dont mean u can....ask ur family ..friends and strangers goin past ur house if its nice before steppin out and acting like ure the ish! Kmt

Apart from that i have nothing to report...until 2mr when my journey on d train continues..sugar king still hopin to bump into u one of these days on zzz platforms...

Ur girl barefeet!

silence vs speech

Rite here goes

Lately had a fat argument with the other half as my recent posts wud have indicated.....

My personality
Im some1 who tells u wateva im thinking and try my best to be diplomatic this has won me few friends and few foes...if i see something i speak it....i struggle to lie....the way i see it is ...tell the truth and damn the consequences wats d worst that can happen...even when i ws about to get married to my husband pastor felt i was fornicating bla bla bla he asked me i said yes we kissed and fondled lol....its that bad i struggle to lie...i cuda saved myself the shame by sayin ahh no sir over my dead body...but hey he cant kill me...so i told d pastor yes...they sha told me to either choose my husband or the choir....im sure u can guess wat i chose....story for another day

So as i ws saying ...so there was an argument and i can say it stemmed from me always saying wat i think...if there somein left on d floor that shudnt be there,...ill let hm know and then clean it up etc...so that in future he will know ahh barefeet will not be happy with this....so i guess too mch of this led to him feelin constantly criticised or nagged at...well well..well id like to think that chapter is closed....only for the next day usually the making up day where d woman is to be feelin pampered etc cos hes tryin to show her he cares and did not mean the things said in argument....that was not the case he was on the pc all day and on his fone ....darling im off to work ....yeh ok he kept on typin away...totally frustrated i stormed out of the house....typically as barefeet i wuda called him immediately told him ow i felt ignored he wasnt pullin his weight how he shudve...he was being insensitive the barrage of words etc....but then got to work and i got a text 'r u ok u seemed upset when leaving' and i said to myself make thunder fire devil...mscheww...stupid qs and now hes acting like he aint got a clue...my reply 'nope at all was just rushin off to work'

I was bare vexed that i didnt let him have piece of my mind....but the aftermath was worth it ...
The next day he called me saying we shud go for lunch somewhere....whilst eating lunch he said how happy he is to have lunch with me...that its been a while esp after d argument kissed me and said the first propa kiss since our argument...as per for the sake of courtesy u kiss hi and goodbye even in an argument etc...im wont let u in to everything he said...knowing my usual husband if i had mentioned something the night before that hes not pulling his weight he wuda buckled under that pressure and be lost in regards to pleasin me.....

Second example came out of the shower he spilled water everywhere this one i had to talk...darling pls help us mop the water so i and baby dont slip....e no answer me...im like shut ur mouth barefeet..and just let him do it in his time...im sure he heard u....i went back 5 mins later he was ironing ...im like o.....k he hasnt mopped the floor yet i was about to say something...den i chose to shut up as if i mentioned it twice it wud def look like nagging.....i was about to step out of the house when i saw him get the mop and was cleanin...and i left saying love u etc etc etc

So the moral of the story is call it lyin or wateva u want when ur other half asks u wats wrong and u say nothin to save the peace

Call it holding ur tongue back or not being honest or telling him how u feel on a need to know basis call it wateva it works wonders...i find it hard and it hurts me like hell as per my m personality i find it hard to deny my feelings i just blurt it out...but its well worth it....

Ps facebook again saw a status saying....please pray for my friend amanda she had her wedding and the wedding photographer forgot he had no film in his camera and took the pictures of the day. He has just told the bride the bad news, she has fainted and is hospitalised...pleease pray for her...

Its a bad thing to happen ooo..but which one be the faintin...pictures aint worth my life...or is it me being insensitive...?

plain english!

The fact that u do things innocently dont make it right
the fact that u break ur back working on hours on end does not make u a good husband
the fact that u say ure sorry does mean u intend to change
The fact that u say ull change does not mean u see a need to change
The fact that u threaten at things ull do does not mean ill wait around till ull do them
The fact that u make promises with the best of intentions doesnt mean u plan to do them
The fact that you dont plan anything means those promises will never be fulfilled
The fact that everythin works per chance does mean ull always be lucky
The fact that ure hpin to be lucky doesnt mean ill be cupid sit around and wait till u get it right
The fact that they say women are so complicated doesnt automatically include me
The fact that they say women are complicated i speak in plain language...yet ur pride gets in the way of ur understanding...y? Cos men hate instructions...

I.e i want to spend time with u lets have a picnic in our garden since theres no money to dine out..ill like to think this is plain english

He interpretes it as he needs some time for himself ...he'll make himself happy and get on his bike and we can have the picnic later...he comes hme late picnic is cancelled and im to bloody blame cos I SHUDA WAITED FOR U TO COME BACK!

W.....T......F! I hear u say no be me talk am i be xtain...

its a mans world

Its amazin ow there are two parties to a relationship theres the party that is noticed for their input and the other could be said to be a sleeping partner does so much or equally as much but its never noticed or mentioned.

First party the man
He goes to work brings the bacon home...protector of the family etc...cant fill in the gaps as i no be man...neither am i tryin to play down their role

2nd party
She goes to work but still never has any time off work...plans the life of the family...the holidays...the days out...the romantic getaways whilst the man works away....they go on the planned journey evryone has a good time etc...the bit no one ever says is the thank u...for working behind the scenes,...either cos it not hours that cn be shown on a payslip...or maybe cos she just assumes the roles upon herself..the other half automatically doesnt see the need to mention thank u and appreciate her...

Somehow the hours the man puts in are reflected in his pay slip etc...so he gets the gratitude...the cooked meals before he ccmes hme ...the massages..etc...

Where am i goin here....no matter how bloody hard i work (am not talkin about the 9-5) because as a woman once u clock out from work and come hme...the rest of the work u do is not accounted for neither is it thot of as much...this is totally unfair...

The man can go to work for hours on end and come hme and chill...this is an option for him...for a woman she goes out to work and she has no option but to come hme and take care of the kids....

it is truelly a mans world...

change...

Some things that amaze me...

Ow the young generation are striving to act older...primark having padded bra's for 7yr olds
Etc
Whilst the older generation are desperately tryin to be young with plastic surgery etc

Ow some many peeps inc myself strive to get the dosh and yet u get the dosh and its never enuff...the greed is endless....amazing ow ur salary is never good enuff,...u always want to be better paid

Ow every nigerian i look at lately seem to hv the word responsibilty on their foreheads...they got fam bk hme they gotta cater for

Ow we feel good we cn spk a diff language albeit yoruba ibo etc...that way if u dnt want to be understood on d outside...u cn spk in ur language....yet the new gen dont want to be identified as nigerian or definitely deny they cnt spk or understand their native language...bk in my days it was like a trophy wen u could spk ur language

Amazing that everythin mentioned above has not changed yet it seems like its changes the only difference is the extent and degree to which it was dne ...its always been that way....it will continue to....no surprise...

they are yellow black or white...

nawaaaoooo.....its summer again.....and have started seeing a few things enuff to write a book......God truly created us all differently its amazzzzzin.....

Im on the train at the mo and the different personalities etc are so evident now that its summer....i knda guess in winter theres a common consensus as to the dress code....and even if there wasnt wateva u wore there was a coat to cover it....so literally a lot of sore heads dont stand out...ok here goes.....

saw a post on the net the other day saying wen black peeps sweat they smell...im like who doesnt....anywhoo a topic for another day....

ive got my goths to the right the train is approaching at full speed he steps on his skate board and his friend mimicks pushin him off the platform and they start laughin...all black clothing with manscar and eye pencil...all the hair full of mousse and blow dried to give some ompth...im like y do they try so hard to draw attn or stand ouut....surely its ok not to be noticed or is it just me

Ive got my african bro standing in front of me listening to his ipod....wearing black faded boxers sagging badly...and im like seriously a mans boxers is his pant! Peope its pants....if a woman wants to sag its only becos she just bought new panties or thongs so she wears her jeans just a lil low....but wat is it with men....somehow they think their boxers aint pants...so we got some faded boxers that hes had after 3 yrs and hes saggin

Wats with brothers i mean blood brother sharing boxers...like id speak for myself so cant share pants with my sis if i had one...but hold on lol after writing that line i just realised that on those hot nights in summer i actually do wear hubbys boxers....argh theres no basis for this post ill be back again...

nb theres bare beef everywhere for some reason...its like everypage i click someone is venting or letting off steam about somein that happened

Myne....first time i got to ur blog and saw a feel of ur personality....as per the sugar thingy...kinds made me understand u better..as u dont have a personal blog

Cant remember her name...as im writing this on my fone....the lady with the trouble of csdf and cds...lol....definitely got the abbreviations wrong...yeh she too is feeling down as per wat she said and ow its got her in trouble...

And then on fb i see someone status sayin...pls dont u ever come to my wall and write stuff like that i do not appreciate it..and keep ur nose out of it cos its nt ur business capisce...

Im like na wetin happen read the thread and found out that the culprit had left a msg saying....happy birthday darling wish u the best...and long life...ps try and lose some weight...

O boy...on some1's birthday u write that and its not even a private message u put it on her wall habaa...so much yawa everywhere...im out me sef i get my own yawa to sort out.

fawlty towers

I definitely am not about to talk about the tv series fawlty towers so beware....this is cringe worthy....i actually dont know ow to start talking about a mans fawlty towers...there i said it...for the reason of this post a mans fawlty towers refers to his...genitals...hope the choice of language here gives it a soft landing....

Rite its the first week of summer over here in the uk,..aand we got man dem wearing sweat pants, track suit bottoms etc....my dear brothers if u want to wear track suit bottoms pls wear the right boxers...or briefs...and if ure planning to show off ur fawlty towers underneath ur trousers....abeg u ....pls be sure that wat u have is visually condusive.....kai

Just standing at the platform at liverpool street waiting for my train and a brova walking past had some nike sweat pants on and

1. He wasnt wearing the right briefs\boxers
2. which means his fawlty towers were dangling evrywhere
3. The fawlty towers were definitely not visually appealing
4. Y i hear u ask? they were small, wonky and it was sidelined....

My thing is u definitely cnt say to me u dont arrange urself down there when u wear ur boxers or tuck in ur shirt or wen u obviously wear something revealing......

My advise flaunt it 0NLY if u have it....wear good boxers or briefs that hold it INTACT...we dont want a juggling act...especially wen its a miniature act...and lastly manage arrange urself down there we ladies are flatpacked but u guys need to deal with the three fold...2 balls and the fawlty towers...so fold it properly abegg...my eyes are bleeding...

Ps......i dont go around looking at fawlty towers oooo... And dont act like u aint ever seen a fawlty tower....u might have but never spoken of it....so cut me some slack lol

public secret?

Surely theres more depth to u?
Surely words cant describe u?
Surely theres a reason y everyone's talkin about u?
Surely theres a reason why ure d most written about?
Surely theres more to the story of evolution...?
Surely theres more to christianity?
surely theres more to prayin and answered prayers?
Surely theres more to love?
Surely theres more to christ?

all of these questions bring me to the next line
Yes theres more to u thats y ure called the personal Jesus...
U work for me totally differently than someone in congo (ps just listened to this song on you tube - sing for joy in congo...amazing worship)

theres more to you thats y...

Ure 'skyped' out of this world
Cyberspace cud nt limit u on 'myspace'
Miliion faces are tagged to u on 'facebook'
getting drunk in the spirit and high on 'hi5'
banter and chatter of u on 'twitter'

Surely theres more to u...so much to knw...i only ask to knw a fraction thats known to nobody else..?!