Well where do I start
I started out on this blogging flogging and logging journey and its been a thot or series of thots on my mind …been tryin to talk about everythin else but this but I guess this is a tribute to nobody
I started writing my blog with the intention of mentionin this nobody but I thot as I carry on in life and get a fuller picture of this nobody ill let u guys in…but I still don’t have a full picture…sounds like im rattling yes cos im talking about somebody I haven’t a clue about!
My FATHER….(note not dad)
Goin back to series one of in the beginning he was the one I mentioned that came round evry now and then ( meanin I seen him approx 3 times in my whole life)
Well lets hit the nail on the head Hes DEAD
Got the news in January and I still cant compose a full sentence about this guy as I don’t even know much about him yet I have too many preconceived ideas about him that I could write a book about him
Things I know/ think I know about him
He was/is fair skinned
I look like him
Hes very tall
He was a lawyer
His dad is a justice
He had a stroke
He left my mum when he was needed most
He was a man of many words yet so few words wen asked a qs
His favourite phrase “ nothing special” i.e “y haven’t u called – nothing special…no reason
He never say bye before hanging up
He never knew my bday
Or he acted like he didn’t know or didn’t want to know
He had a stroke
Things I don’t know
Where he lived
His new wife
His children my step siblings (still trying to get used to that fact)
His age
His birthday
His thots
His personality
In other words I never knew much about this man yet spoke to him quite often on the fone …of which he never asked me much wenever he spoke to me ..his excuse there are things that are not to be spoken about on the fone wen we see thatll be better
He thot he had soo much time left although he suffered from paralysis due to the stroke
He showed so much care by callin me all the time yet soo little care wen it came to things that really mattered, like who I am ?…he never seemed to want to know anything about me ..he was quite content with the fact that he spoke to me on a regular basis that did it for him.
As u can see this is an absolute ramble which is quite annoyin for myself because these are the thots that are floating in my head
HOW CAN U HAVE A CHILD AND BE SO WILLING TO LET GO OF RESPONSIBILITY AND ALWAYS POSTPONE EVRYTHING THAT CONCERNS THAT CHILD ?
Ill continue this post later and promise itll be a lot more organised ….
4 comments:
Finally I can comment!!! My sympathies? or something along those lines.
wow...im sorry for your loss and im sorry you didnt get to know him before he died.
Kpele.... it can't have been easy to have an absent dad. I hope u deal with it and make ur peace with it soon.
@ Juanita its definitely somein along those lines cos i dont think sympathy defines a moment like this...the guy was just random
@leggy wat a way to say sorry...u started the sentence by "wow" then sorry jokes...i kinda think there musta been a reason for me not knowing him ...i might have been too dissapointed with wat i find...u know wen u speak to some1 so often and yet dont knw nothin about them..it surely makes u ask...that it mighta been best nt to know them
@ sting...hmmm PEACE...nawaoo i used to think of that as a word now it hold so much gravity..i tell myself that i have made peace but the fact that im still ramblin in this post shows and states otherwise...and in ur words "make peace with it soon" he really was an it in my life...and btw i dont know ow to make peace with it...especially wen it cant be defined ..lol
thanks for the support tho peeps good to know u took the time out to type ur condolences at least i can find some comfort in that..
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